Sunday, August 21, 2011

Eeeeelllliiiiiooooot (say it like E.T.)

Okay so if you're the kinda blog checker who only wants to see pictures you can scroll on down and take a gander what i got going on (sounds sexy, doesn't it?... it kind of is. HAH) OR if you are the kind of person who really values our friendship and likes drama... read ON and then hey, you still get to enjoy the pictures afterwards and you are rewarded for your hard work of reading. cuz it's SOOO hard. okay.. i'll get to the point now.

THE BIRTH STORY
Welp... in case you don't check facebook at all, let me just summarize by saying that i was basically having contractions for the last two weeks of pregnancy before she came which i NEVER knew could happen but apparently is pretty common? anyway, since i'm SO retarded i ended up going to the hospital falsely TWICE. the first time was really emotionally tramatic and i was mad at everyone for not letting me have this baby NOW, the second time was more of a.. "tell me how far i'm dilated and all that so i can have piece of mind and ALSO maybe have a better nurse than the first visit who will give me GOOD advice" kinda visit. (let's just say the FIRST nurse said VERBATIM... "they WON'T send you home, you will be induced tonight." TURD.)

ANYWAY... so i went to my OB appointment on tuesday at 1:15 and she scheduled my induction for thursday which is enos' birthday which i ASKED for but later had mixed feelings about and was probably gonna change when i woke up from my nap... but then things when comPLETELY different...

so, like i said... i drove home from my appointment with relief KNOWING when the end was and that i would FINALLY not be pregnant anymore. (Can you tell i hate being with child? yeah... like i SERIOUSLY LOATH it.) By the way, i should mention that my OB didn't do ANYTHING out of the ordinary during our visit, no membrane stripping or anything, just checked me and then i left.

So then I laid down and napped since lucas was still asleep when i got home and napped for about 2 hours...when i woke up i was having the WORST contractions i'd had in the last two weeks and they were consistent through my nap as well which caused some uncomfortable dreams.. ya know like contorting into weird positions and climbing up a sandpaper wall with my belly rubbing against it.. .things like this... anywho.. i thought.. "man... i can't take DAYS of this! blah.. oh well.. i'll stick it through these since i know the end is on thursday." this is at 4pm.. okay? don't forget that time... so lucas wakes up and i feed him lunch and TRY to eat a lara bar but my contractions are just so painful i get sick at the thought of eating anymore and stop. Then it hits me... um... could this be IT? i looked at the clock and started keeping track of how far apart my contractions were... two of them were 5 minutes apart and then by 4:30 they were 2 minutes apart... oh my GOSH.. this is really happening!! okay good... so i get lucas ready inbetween contractions, which, were SERIOUSLY painful.. i had to completely stop doing EVERYTHING when i had one... i call my "team" of people to take lucas... everyone on the list... and guess what? NOBODY ANSWERS!!!!!!! what the crap!?!? what do i do? then, i call my next door neighbor, Alanna. SHE is officially my HERO. She was at the park with her kids but was like.. "i can be there in 15 minutes. is that fast enough?" and i said, out of breath, "ummm i hope so." So i continue to call everyone else just in case i can find someone to take lucas NOW cuz i need to go to the hospital. But like i said.. nobody answers... so i wait for Alanna. she carries my bags to the car and then says, " umm.. are you sure you can drive yourself?" i thought about it and then decided.. ew... with parking? i don't wanna be walking on the street and having contractions and carrying this big bag.. "yeah, do you mind driving me?" And she does. we try to talk on the way there but every time i have a contraction i have to say, "okay stop talking now, please." i think she was freaking out, i know i was. So i get to triage at 5:09pm and call enos... "i'm here" is all i muster out before i say, "okay love you, see you soon, bye" and hang up as another contraction hits me. the nurse has me give a urine sample and change into a gown before she checks me which only took about 8 min. and then she checks me and pulls her hands out really quick and says, "oh my gosh, you're an 8, we have to go NOW." she wheels me upstairs on the elevator and as we're going down the hall she says, "please don't have this baby in my wheelchair." i thought she was just making a joke... one of the other nurses told me later that she said... "no seriously.. i was worried she was gonna deliver in my chair." they didn't even have time to ask me questions or have me fill out any forms.

I arrive in the delivery room at 5:19pm. okay? keep your eye on that time... my contractions are almost unbearable now and i ask... is it too late to get an epidural!?!? the nurse says, "he's on his way... we're gonna try." which now i know is a comPLETE lie because it WAS too late but i didn't want to believe it because i was petrified of doing it natural. too bad... that's how it was gonna happen.... after all those blood tests and platelet counts and hemotologist appointments and taking steroids for the last week for nothing!! i asked again, "so i can't have an epidural?" the nurse said, "no honey, she here! she's coming NOW." i can't say that i was seeing clearly at this point.. i just remember staring at the big lights on the ceiling and screaming bloody murder to get through the pain...the nurses were really nice, but the doctor said, "you need to stop screaming." i didn't even really LOOK a the doctor... i still don't remember what she looked like... but anyway... there was a point there when my body LITERALLY felt like it was being split in HALF down there... i could feel my pelvic bone MOVING and what FELT like being ripped from FRONT TO BACK... i swear i went into shock... where was enos? the whole time i was delivering i was clutching my phone waiting for him to call...but no... "okay her head is out! just give me one more push.. not too hard!!" and just like that.. they plopped her on my chest and i had just given birth. WHAT!? what time was it? remember how i got in there at 5:19? yeah... she was out at 5:26. that's right folks...after ALL that waiting and "false labor" she was delivered and OUT in 1 1/2 hours. what if i had driven myself? what if alanna hadn't gotten there so soon? all these crazy things that worked out so that i wouldn't deliver Elliot on the dang sidewalk. PHEW.

So they clean her up and then who should show up? Enos. he was crushed. "what? i missed it?" he was just too slow (surprise surprise, haha) i said, "aww love! i'm sorry! it's all done. I don't think you would have wanted to be here anyway though.. it was pretty intense." then the nurse who was cleaning Elliot up said from the corner, "yeah.. it was pretty scary. it's probably better." HAH so that's it... she was 6lbs 5oz and was finally HERE :)



i give you... ELLIOT PARKER HEINZEN








"don't you step outta line or i'll punch you in the face."

"ha! just kidding.. i love me baby!"

her outfit for today...

my favorite PART of the outfit. :)

(can't you tell how in love he is?)

...but then again.. who wouldn't be?

30 comments:

Stephanie Kelly said...

I love her!!! I love your story! I love you guys! I cant wait to have a happy family like you.

Vagabond Mother said...

OH MY GOSH. Reading this stresses me out. But then I see this little baby who looks cute and cool and I cannot lie, she looks sneaky. Like she is smarter than the average baby. And that HAIR! Finally revealed! She's awesome Lindsay. Tell Enos go to hang at the hospital and watch some other baby get born. It will make him feel better.

Kori said...

You are gonna have a fun story to tell from now on and totally embarrass her when she's a snotty teen :) So awesome! She is a doll and it's totally not fair that you already don't look prego in the face. (you might look great everywhere but you haven't posted any body shots) Gorgeous little fam! In a way I am jealous that you got to experience natural natural birth, ya know? You were tough enough...pioneer woman!

Natalia said...

Wow what a story! She is precious. Love those those HUGE eyes!

Angela said...

seriously riveted by this story. you are still my hero. simply incredible. I love you so much for this. such a brave woman. and seriously...elliot looks just like you. i love it. and YOU look like a rockstar for just having given birth to her au natural! seriously. i love her. i love you. we think of you guys constantly here.

No Model Lady said...

Um, hello picture #2...how does she look like she was born smiling?!? She is such a cute toot! Too bad Enos missed it, but third time's a charm, right?!

Mica said...

I LOVE your story too! I want to go "natural" (on purpose, though) so I'll let Matt know to expect some screaming.

She is so perfectly beautiful, Lindsay. She looks JUST like you. And her hair! Did you have hair when you came out?? I know us Heinzen babies all had hair...

I'm sad I can't meet her until Christmas:(

Love your souls!

Morgan said...

I can't get over how cute she is! I agree with the other commentor, she looks like she knows what's up.

Lance and Melissa said...

She really is so adorable. And that is one intense story, wow, I'm so glad you made it to the hospital in time! Go Alanna! Congrats again, and enjoy that little lady!

David and Teresa said...

Well you did good Lindsay. You and her both look beautiful. It was all worth it. Right? Sorry Enos but Elliot just didn't want to wait for her Daddy. She already knows she will be a Daddy's girl and it will be hard to say no to her. See you guys in 7 days. Love Dad and Paw Paw

Anna said...

You look great for just having gone through hell! And she's adorable too... :) Congratulations! Love you guys!

Sarah said...

Holy crap! That is the fastest birth I've ever heard of. You are a superstar! She is adorable! You seriously deserve a medal or some cookies with your name on them. Congrats on the little girl!

Alys said...

Ah!!! Thanks for sharing the story. So sad that Enos couldn't be there. And, I am sorry you didn't get the epidural. BUT, you can now say you had a baby all natural. That is something I can't say yet, and lots of other girls too. Seriously, that is so fast. I thought Ayla was fast, but I got checked in at 3:05 and had her at 5:19. So, still fast, but I think you win. And, now you aren't pregnant anymore. Hooray! Enjoy that little baby. And, keep posting pics. I love them!

Staci said...

man i shouldn't of read this now im sooo eager to have mine ...but hopefully get an epidural you crazy woman. Atleast you can say you're a real woman and did it natural! I love her! I love the Elliot name it seems to be the theme in our house lately b/c E.T is miles fav. movie right now!

The Standrings said...

oh my gosh lindsay. that is so INTENSE! i can't believe you did it without an epidural- you are superwoman. and she is one cute baby!

Candace said...

Oh wow. That is so crazy how quick she came!! She is so beautiful and bright eyed, I know you guys are all completely and totally in love with her. I can't wait to have this baby and be done being pregnant now. I only have... 25 MORE WEEKS. ugh. That seems very daunting. :)

Drew said...

That is one CRAZY story. I can just imagine you are pretty scary during labor. Poor Enos! I bet he'll regret missing that forever! Don't worry, Baby Daddy! You did your best!

What a face that baby has. I can't wait to meet her one day. I will say her name like E.T. every time.

Gina Coons said...

Congrats guys! And I thought Lucas was wrapped around your guys fingers, uh. oh. haha.

Gina Coons said...

No way! You are my hero. I would have been so sad I missed it too.

Spillers Family said...

Um wow! I seriously cannot believe your story. I am laughing and crying for you (tears of joy of course!) Congrats you guys! She is GORGEOUS, and you look great post-ADVENTURE!

:-)

John and Juli said...

Oh my gosh!!!! Remember i was at a cabin with no internet, and this is what i come home too! That was the craziest story ever, i'm so glad you made it. Kiss that baby for me. Congratulations:)

Mikel said...

CONGRATS!! That's the craziest story! But she is a complete doll! Can't wait to meet her!

Mica said...

Uh...question: Has Enos lost weight?

K, love you. Bye.

Brandon and Laura said...

WOW sista. You are amazing. That is probably one of the best birth stories I've heard, you're amazing! Sad though that Enos missed it...where was he?!?! PS you look super pretty in all your pictures...how did you do that?!?

Carolina said...

Awesome story. Also, Elliot is totes presh & adorbz. Ha!

Yay for your family!

nicole said...

congrats, kinda glad i didnt have to do all that hard pushing. :)

linden hansen said...

NATURAL?!!!!! what?! what a woman! congratulations.... she is darling.

Carley said...

She is beautiful! I have a really good friend who named their little girl Elliot and I love it! I love unique names they are great! I mean you wither love them or hate them right? I get people all the time make fun of my son's name. I am a huge Johnny Cash fan so his name is Cash our last name is Carter so I LOVE it but I have actually have people tell me well you can name your next one debit or credit. I mean they seriously said that to me. She is beautiful! Sorry I know you do not know me but I am a huge fan of your work that I have seen from April Durham! You are amazing! Thank you for sharing these little angels with us! Have a great day!
Hugs
Carley

Joe and Sarah said...

I can't believe you survived that. Wow, wonder woman! Reading this stresses me out. Honestly Idon't know If I would've survived that. But your baby girl is one of the cutest I have ever seen. She is so pretty and such a character (from what I see in the pictures)!

Mary B said...

I LOVE this story!! OMGOSH. I love that you screamed! I love that you were in labor and didn't know it!! You are INCREDIBLE!!

PS I hope you let your foot slip and kicked the dr in the face when she told you to stop screaming.