Tuesday, December 16, 2008

"Happy Death Day Utah drivers!!!"...

..... that's what the weather seemed to be saying today as i attempted to drive and meet my old work buddies for lunch. this is what the freeway looked like.... (close your eyes mother.. i don't want you to freak out).

Luckily everyone seemed to be driving pretty safe... (except for me obviously who was busy taking pictures)... we were all driving around 20 mph.... it was still scary though because honestly.... WHERE ARE THE LINES ON THE ROAD!!! gone!!... that's probably why i saw 3 wrecks just in the short time i was on the road... it was just scary.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Pregnancy Class and a sad cow.

Enos and i had an all day pregnancy class on saturday... it was... long and in the end i'm not really sure i learned anything new except the names of each of the stages of labor... whatever. Most of it is just common sense.... "listen to your body" "relax" "focus on your breathing". Yeah... i know that. in fact, i'm pretty sure i learned all of those things from watching movies all my life. So anyway... the people in the video were so annoying... it was made in the early nineties and it seemed like all of them were having natural childbirth because OH MY GOSH... there was so much moaning from them... I really hate that. I understand that you are in a lot of pain but it just seems so dramatic to MOAN... am i right? I hate it when i'm watching A Baby Story and i see the mom MOANING and groaning... it reminds me of some wilderness show where they show a lion giving birth or something... come on. Today we had a doctor's appointment and the doctor asked how we liked the class and we were like... it was... alright... pretty good. And then we let loose and told her how retarded the videos were. We told her about the moaning and she was like... "really? yeah.. most women are pretty quiet... just focusing.." and then she started laughing about how it sounds like a really ridiculous video and how she'll have to watch it some saturday when she's not busy. I really like my doctor.

Now... the sad cow.... no.. it's not me.. it's an actual cow... enos and i saw him on the way to church... stupid me left my purse at home because "i won't need it"... except that my camera's in there and now i have to eXPLAIN the cow instead of showing you. So imagine a fenced piece of land covered in snow and a white fence..... the poor cows already looked so cold as we passed them and then right at the edge of the land where the fence ends was this pathetic brown ratty haired cow... standing with his face toward the blank fence... his forehead pressed against the fence and staring at the ground.... like he'd given up. it was SO FUNNY.... i felt so bad for him... Enos and i could not stop laughing...and I knew how he felt because i was NOT feeling church yesterday... my pregnant body was protesting. Anyway... lame story without a picture i know but use your colorful imaginations. Sorry about this post... i'm sure it wasn't as interesting as you were hoping for. oh well.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Geoffrey Heinzen....... more naughty than meets the eye.

So... every year (well... mostly just last year because he wasn't big enough until then) we battle with geoffrey to preserve the life of the (fake) christmas tree. We've had WAY too many "redecorations" to keep a christmas-loving couple happy.... Well.... two days ago we set up the tree and had FORGOTTEN how to prevent geoffrey from climbing up into it. So we just left it the way it was and prayed. Welp,yesterday morning i find two of the ball ornaments on the floor and the beads coming undone. I was furious (though i should have been grateful) that he did such a thing. I took a very calm but firm approach to it... i held the balls in his face and yelled at him (that's what she said... sorry... i couldn't resist).... i THOUGHT he got the point because he didn't even LOOK at the tree again the rest of the day. BOY WAS I EVER WRONG.... this morning... enos woke me up and said... Geoffrey's in trouble... oh.. but check the closet before you get mad... there's a surprise in there for you... i just assumed enos had bought me a little birthday present and that made me feel all special. WRONG. So i get up and walk into the kitchen.... this is what i see...

YEAH. that's right... those branches are bend almost straight down to the ground... SOMEONE must have been practicing his mountain climbing.

Let's start with THIS guy, victim #1...in the hallway...normal enough right? oh it gets better....

then there's THIS guy....further down the hall in our room by the laundry (don't worry it's all clean). He didn't have a chance.

Then last and most ridiculous....is THIS guy... victim #3... i have to put him last because his location was so propostorious..... behind a closet door... Geoffrey dragged him in here to DIE.

They never knew what was coming. Poor fuzzy ornaments.

So after this... i showed geoffrey each of his victims and tried to get across to him that the tree is not a plaything... (yeah i know... explaining ANYTHING to a cat... pointless... but it made me feel a little better)... Then i put him in his room. (don't worry he has food, water and potty in there.) And after only 5 minutes... he starts to act like he's dying.

What a wiener. I tried to get a picture of him looking from under the door but he refused and moved as soon as the camera flashed. poopstain.

It was all pretty funny after i disciplined him because he was acting SOOOO dramatic. Stupid cat. I wanna smack him. My friend sarah said something about only LIKING not LOVING the cat after her first baby came.... i think he's pushing me to it. Oh well... i never really liked cats anyway.... poor Geoffrey. At least Enos will still love him.

ps. he's meowing SO loud right now from his room for me to let him out... sorry cat. not until i feel like it.... liking is still okay... right?

pss. oh... and we remembered this morning that he doesn't bother the tree (as much) if we take the bottom two rows of branches off... ghetto... but at least we don't have to redo it every 5 minutes.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Gestational Diabetes

So that name GESTATIONAL DIABETES has been running through my head all last night and during my dreams/nightmares... until i got the news today.... I DO NOT have it! I'm free to eat my cakes and ice cream and cookies and pastries as i please!!!! i passed! phew... i would have cried if i had it. It was worth every MINUTE of that 4 hour (should have been 3 hour) test i took. I am SO sorry to people who have had this or have diabetes just normally. What a hard thing to live with... eSPECIALLY if you love sweets and bread as much as i do. Thank you Heavenly Father... THANK YOU. Phew... now that THAT'S over... i gotta go get me some donuts.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Yeah.. i'm gonna complain...LIVE WITH IT.

Complaint #1. I've been trying ever since i got laid off to keep up my art skills on the computer with freelance and shenanigens but our stupid computer is so slow i wanna kill myself. Everything i do that SHOULD take 5 seconds takes 5 MINUTES. Damn you computer!!! It makes it very hard to be productive and THEN i get depressed and watch HGTV. What a mess.

Complaint #2. I got a call from the lab at my doctor saying that i might have gestational diabetes and to come in for that dumb 3 hour blood test. If you've never taken this... be GRATEFUL. They keep you there for 3 solid hours taking your blood every hour... that's FOUR needles. yes. FOUR. Okay... i know i'm a wimp. BUT... i was sleeping inbetween pricks in a recliner which was fine... except for the last our where my sleep felt reallllly long and for a reason... the woman forGOT to wake me up but i woke up on my own... and NOT having my cell phone (stupid lindsay) just sat in this slightly dark empty room with NO clock reading magazines until she came and got me.....sooooo instead of the last prick being at 11:40am it was at 12:40!!! come on... you have a fricken timer woman.... uhhh... what a waste of a day. I better not have to do that test over again because she screwed up.

Complaint #3. My relief society president... What a piece of work...... If you aren't mormon... sorry... i'm not going to explain this, live with it....this is a venting session NOT a teaching opportunity...... Okay... so i'm in the primary with the little kids so i NEVER see the woman. I've talked to her a few times but she is such a loopy loon. I've been in the ward since... let's see... MARCH and i JUST NOW found out who i visit teach... YOU might say... "well why didn't you just ask." Okay smarty butt... i DID ask... i asked about 3 months ago and apparently i hadn't been added to the list of people for visiting teaching? really? again. I've been here since MARCH. So last week i get this call asking me if i did my visiting teaching... and i will admit... i was a little pissed because nobody even TOLD me i'd been put ON the list even though i asked like EVERY WEEK. and now i'm being accused of NOT getting it done? honestly? I hate you. Okay... so i went in to the RS room this past sunday and approached the relief society president and told her how they called me to see if i'd done my visiting teaching and i hadn't even been made aware of my assignment. Then i asked who i teach... she said (all flightly and feather brained)... "ohhh... well.. i'll call you." I've heard THIS before so i didn't wait for a call. I called around MYSELF and asked the VT person who i teach. She was very nice and gave me the numbers and names of my girls.... but here's the problem.... i have 3 SUPER inactive girls.... really? did you even think this through? you're going to give a PREGNANT woman in the PRIMARY THREE!?!?!?! people to teach? thanks. real nice. Whatever. i can do it. Well yesterday i finally get a call from Mrs. RS president but i wasn't around to get it.... oh but don't worry... she left a message.... a FOUR MINUTE message of her rambling on about how so-in-so is a pregnant teenager and "did i tell you she lived in so-in-so apartment? i'm not sure" I could hear papers turning in the background and she would sit there with 10 seconds of silence during the message and say... "hmmmm.... uuuuummm" OH MY GOSH!!!!!!! You're retarded. I know i should be more compassionate but honestly.. she's not some young girl who doesn't know the ropes.. she's a 40-something woman who LOOKS normal enough but doesn't seem to have it together upstairs. Okay.. i'm done bashing this woman... but seriously... who ACTS like this?

I guess those are the only three things bothering me right now.... Sorry to complain so much but i hadn't posted in a while and i have been thinking about all three of these things for the past two weeks now. That's all.... PHEW.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Monday, December 1, 2008


Welp... this is a short but important post but i just wanted to announce to everyone (because a LOT of people aren't answering their phones right now...turds) that ENOS got accepted to dental school in Pomona, CA via phone call from the dean not long ago. WE'RE GOING TO DENTAL SCHOOL!!!!!! YAY!!!... what a HUGE weight off of our shoulders. I love you enos!!! and i'm so proud of you! i knew you could do it! (we still haven't heard back from Indiana....but we'll let you know).

No more bellies.

I'm just using this post to tell you all that i will no longer be giving belly updates... i'm sorry. I can't... well... i CAN but i'd probably break down and cry soooo.... don't ask. I MIGHT (that's a very slim might) post one last one before we go to the hospital to deliver but besides that... i'm done. My face is marshmellow-y and i've gained WAY too much weight to be proud of. That's all... here's a picture to remember me by....

I try to say goodbye... but you won't LEAVE!

Sooooo... i've had my toyota celica since my junior year in high school and it's gotten me around in my life... all the way here in utah but with the baby on the way it's becoming more of a burden... one of those "to do's" that won't get done in the back of my head. I hate it. I'm just frustrated because we NEED to sell the car but nobody is buying it!!!! Craigslist, KSL..... nothing. oh car... please go away. that's all.. i just wanted to vent..... Don't really want advice... just wanna mope.

oh how many times i've sat behind this wheel (and either sang my heart out, cried or just thought about life)

I love you... but you're wearing out your welcome..... it's time to move on. SO GO!